Don't Try to Be Happy

Just thoughts percolating through my mind this Monday morning:

I've posted before (over a year ago, I believe) about the transparency Facebook allows teens to show. For a pastor, it's an interesting glimpse into what Chap Clark calls, "the world beneath." In his 2007 book, "Disconnected: Parenting Teens in a Myspace World," he says that openness and availability allow parents to "sit on the top of the steps to the world beneath." You'll never be allowed in, he cautions, but with patience and persistence, dripping with love, you'll be able to catch glimpses, smells and sounds from below - from the place adolescents go to escape the expectations, frustrations and standards of the adult world.

I wonder now if Facebook has cut a hole into the world beneath, allowing adults to peer in and see the to-and-fro in adolescent life that hasn't before been observable. I'm 'friends' with most of my students - with most of the students I interact with on any level - and it's a whole different side I see on Facebook (this should serve as a small warning!).

Later, I'd like to write on Facebook etiquette - on the privacy issues and general behavior. Conceptions of Facebook morality seem to be completely absent; it's appalling.

But I have noticed a common trend from within the 'world beneath,' as I've looked at Facebook posts and comments. Often, a student will post a status to the effect of, "Terrible day; mad, angry! Leave me alone." I say 'often' and 'to the effect of' because these comments vary vastly in content (and language), but appear regularly and in many incarnations.

Invariably, another peer will comment on their desire to be alone: "Oh! Don't be sad! Be happy." To an extent, I think this simple comment is the expectation of the sad individual; someone posting an angry, hurt status is simply looking to see who will respond. After all, if you truly wanted to be alone and incommunicado, why post where everyone will hear?

But it betrays a common theme among adolescents, and the world at large: our value, worth and life-experience seems to be based on our quotient of daily happiness. The goal in life is no longer self-worth, value, experience, longevity, difference-making, joy, fitness, or purpose. It's plain, pure, unadulterated happiness. Perhaps individuals will strive for any of the above, but from within the context of happiness: "This will make me happy, so I'll do it."

The problem is that happiness is so fleeting. Happiness, as defined by the world, and by default, is completely dissociated with truth. The only governing rule is, "If it feels good, get it. As much as possible, as often as possible, and until it stops working." There's no sense of purpose, direction, perspective or value. It's a 'live for the moment,' mentality. It's associated with a lack of discipline, patience or self-control. A pure thirst for happiness is pure carnality.

Contrast this to Christian joy. Instead of a disassociation with truth, Joy is intimately tied to it: Joy is based on the knowledge of God's redeeming, tenacious, and eternal love. Joy holds strong through periods of intense unhappiness; and Joy promotes unity and fellowship with God, which leads to self-control, perseverance and self-discipline. Because Joy is a result of God's love, and not of day-to-day activities, Joy doesn't conform to our circumstances - it causes circumstances to conform to it.

The more we dwell on God's redemption of sinful humanity through his son Jesus' death on the cross and subsequent victory of death, the more we should be filled with Joy. And the more we allow Joy to overcome our fears, uncertainties and doubts, the more we should move from carnality into righteousness. Happiness is not wrong - instead, it's a direct result of a perfect union of God and man. As C.S. Lewis said,

"We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

Pray for Joy, and pray that God might work Joy into the culture of the 'world-beneath.'