of weddings and things

This past weekend I had the distinct honor of serving as the "Best Man" in a very, very dear friend's wedding. It was one of the most emotional and moving experiences that I've had in a very long time, and I'm deeply blessed to know the bride and the groom.

I came home yesterday with two prominent thoughts from the wedding.

First, although this was by far the most involved I have ever been in a wedding, and by far the most elegant and beautiful wedding I have ever been apart of, it was also the first time I walked away from a wedding not wanting to get married.

It wasn't that the ceremony wasn't perfect; it was. It wasn't that the vows weren't heartfelt and moving; they were. And it certainly wasn't that the groom didn't look like a million bucks, and the bride MUST have just fallen from heaven; they both were amazing and beautiful. Instead, it was because of all those things.

For perhaps the first time in my life, I saw utter and true commitment to another human being in a way which transcended all selfishness or pride, and it was terribly humbling. I stood for the ceremony, watching my friend fight through tears of joy and love as he recited his vows and pledged his life. And the love the couple exchanged was truly permeable... it filled the room.

It was amazing.

And as I realized just how sure they both were in the midst of that, the strongest of all human commitments, I realized that I am in no way mature enough to take that step. Of course, I also don't think I've met the right girl yet, either! But the strength of their assurance was moving and humbling. It terrified me... it was almost too special.

I certainly cried.

But the other thought I walked away with was a little more sobering. After the wedding, the wedding party took an Escalade Limo (yes please) over to a park for pictures and then to the reception. And as I sat there with the bride and groom, I was struck by how normal they were. How everyday. Sure, they were absorbed into each other as they had every reason to be, but they were still... themselves.

And I realized that the dichotomy between couples before and after the moment of marriage wasn't quite as stark as I might have always assumed. It wasn't as if anything actually, truthfully changed. Certainly, their relationship in the eyes of God and of the church changed in principle, but that didn't mean that their personalities were different, or that they interacted with anyone in any other way. They were still themselves.

And that also scared me. Because (and of course, I've said this before but never really honestly grasped it) the troubles and and struggles were still going to be there. Marriage didn't smooth any bumps. Marriage didn't fill in any potholes. No, the ride's still the same - twists and turns for sure ahead.

Marriage was, and is, simply an acknowledgment of a commitment made already. Don't get me wrong - it's a God-ordained acknowledgment, and that carries a lot of weight. But it doesn't make the relationship better.

It just makes the relationship permanent.
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And so I walked away from the weekend with those thoughts in my head. It was a powerful, beautiful and magnificent wedding. I wish the bride and the groom the best - they will always be dear friends.